


Funny Valentine

by LittleSpider



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Broken Harry Hart, Coma, Coma-Fic, Eventual Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Fix-It, Gen, Harry Hart Lives, Hartwin, Heartbroken Eggsy, Hospitals, M/M, Medical, Medical Fic, Poor Eggsy, Poor Merlin, Songfic, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6355645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpider/pseuds/LittleSpider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Merlin finds Harry not only survived a bullet to the head, but also V-Day, he arranges to have the Senior Kingsman returned home for urgent treatment...</p><p>But will he pull through?</p><p>And why does a certain song play on Eggsy's mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny Valentine

“Eggsy. He's alive.”

 

Eggsy's heart stopped beating for a moment as the phone's cradle slipped into the middle of his palm, his grip on it failed.

 

“...Eggsy, Eggsy, are you there?”

 

“I'm here, Merlin. I'm here...”

 

“...How soon can y'get to HQ?”

 

Eggsy had jumped into the nearest cab and got to the shop, marching in and slamming his palm against the mirror in Fitting Room 3 before counting the seconds down until he could get his arse in that shuttle to HQ.

 

It was a two hour journey, at high speed, but it would feel like years...

 

*

 

Eggsy had barely changed from coming back from Chicago on a reconnaissance trip when Merlin had called, but he had come as he was, half dressed in his suit, absent his tie and still half jet-lagged.

His mouth dry and his lips cracking with the weight of a thousand questions, the heaviest of all being the one that didn't even matter.

'How?'

Merlin was waiting for him, the usually composed giant of a man was looking pale and drawn. His forehead heavily lined.

Eggsy had planned to meet him straight backed, his jaw set, his head up, befitting the new title of Galahad that he wore like shoes that seemed a size too big or a collar of a shirt a size too small and ask him outright what had happened.

But out of all that bravado, a solitary shake in his voice and the thin splinters on his lips threatened to quake him into pieces.

 

“...Harry?”

 

“...He's alive.” Merlin confirmed. “Harry's alive.”

“...How?” Eggsy asked.

Merlin gave an uncertain shrug, his head shaking slightly.

“...We don't even know.”

 

*

 

They had found him in a Kentucky hospital on a life support machine. A John Doe with a gunshot wound to the head, probably done by the same psycho who had killed all of those crazy people in that church.

 

Merlin had sent out a message to local Morgues with his picture asking if anyone had seen his 'brother'.

It had been noticed by a hospital porter who had matched it to the John Doe in Intensive care and Merlin had gotten a call.

 

By all purposes, Harry should have died then and there when the bullet blasted through his glasses, through his left eye and lodged itself into his brain. 

He should have bled out into the dirt of that church path with a .44 ending his life.

But life was funny like that, it never did what you expected.

 

One Month after V-day, as Harry lay safely in a ward in Kentucky, no mobile phones allowed near the sensitive monitoring equipment, he and every other lucky bastard in that unit managed to survive what had been called by what remained of the UN, the worst terror attack in world history.

 

A flight back to the UK, repatriating a 'dead' man in the quiet stillness of the medical unit at HQ where Kingsman Doctors were called in from every corner of the world to assess and treat the former, fallen Galahad at Merlin, the acting Arthur's request.

 

Harry was alive.

 

*

 

“...e's lost an eye, Merls...”

Eggsy was staring at the man on the bed, a tube parting unfamiliar lips that were still, thin, and pale.

He felt Merlin nod just behind him as he ran a shaking hand through the curly dark mass that was separated violently by the stark white strap of a bandage that dominated the usually neatly parted hair.

“...is 'e gonna be alright?” Eggsy asked, his voice soft and barely there.

“...Early days, Eggsy. Early days.” Merlin said. 

Eggsy leaned in, inches from Harry's pale skin and ran his hand through the curls, feeling their reassuring bounce against his trembling palm and feeling the heat from the man's unmoving body.

Harry was alive.

 

*

 

Missions came and went over the next two months and progress was made.

Eggsy infiltrated trafficking rings, and blew open arms deals. He smashed drugs operations and rescued kidnap victims and every time he finished, after he'd confirm a mission was a success, he'd ask the same question.

“How is he?”

Merlin would always respond the same way.

“ _Get your arse back here and find out.”_

 

Harry had been recovering slowly, but surely and was now breathing unaided. Experts, within the Kingsman organization who must have been given some very lucrative offers to abandon their posts at teaching hospitals and universities worldwide, had been working on reconstructing Harry's skull which had been blown apart by the bullet.

Harry's next visit to the airport should be fun with that brand new metal plate in his skull.

 

But his eye?

 

That was something that they would need to discuss with Harry.

 

If they _could_ discuss it with Harry.

 

The bleed on the brain had been enough to cause some damage, and although he was making a recovery now, something beyond any of them had dared hope for, there was still the idea that Harry just wasn't Harry anymore.

People just didn't survive getting shot in the head every day.

 

Eggsy would return home every time, heading straight to HQ to deliver his reports and then check in on Harry and tell him in blow-by-blow detail what happened on the mission.

 

At first, Merlin began to curse at him for breaking confidentiality clauses, but when Eggsy told him that Harry probably couldn't hear and wouldn't give a shit if he could, Merlin decided to let it be.

 

At least when he was talking Harry through his latest exploits he wasn't staring dolefully at him and trying to bottle it all up.

 

When Merlin wasn't around, the late hours of the night when it was just Eggsy and Harry, Eggsy would hold Harry's hand and ask him where he was, in that mind of his. 

 

If he could hear him, and if he was going to 'come home soon'.

 

He would run his fingers over the soft skin of Harry's passive cheeks, asking if he could feel it. Or if he could feel his fingers in his hair. 

 

He would move Harry's fingers to feel the cut of the suit he had had made for him and ask him if he could feel the stitching in the cuffs or if he remembered the colour.

 

He would sometimes even sing to Harry, remembering how Harry had remarked upon hearing him singing in the shower at his place that night he stayed over, how nice his voice was.

 

But Harry never moved.

Not an eyelid, not a finger, not a lash.

 

He just remained there, his breathing rising and falling as stable and as reliable as the tide and just as lonely.

 

*

 

Eggsy was laying with his tucked in his arms on the bed, humming something under his breath as he toyed with the fingers on Harry's right hand, the hand they said may be 

affected by the damage caused by the bullet.

They had mentioned physiotherapy to get his full mobility back, and that massage, exercise and physical stimulus would help him regain his dexterity.

 

Eggsy didn't know if that included him playing with the joints on Harry's fingers, but it couldn't hurt.

 

“...'ere...Merls, What's that song he's always singin'?” he murmured, looking up at the passive man. 

“...That one...what is it...somethin' like ' _Valentine...you make me smile with my heart_ '...?”

 

Merlin was stood nearby, writing something on his clipboard as he looked to Eggsy.

“Sorry?”

 

“That song he sings, the one that's all: 'You make me smile with my heart'?”

 

“Oh...” Merlin said, pushing his glasses up. “...Uh...You mean 'Funny Valentine?'” he asked, looking at Harry.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Aye. He's always singin' it.” Merlin continued, writing again. “Does your head in sometimes.”

 

“Is it the only song he knows or somethin'?”

 

“Probably.” Merlin replied. “Why?”

 

“No reason.” Eggsy asked, googling the song on his phone and downloading it to his saved music.

 

 

*

 

Eggsy had heard that coma patients often heard everything that went on around them, and by heard, Eggsy meant that he had been researching every spare moment he could to find a way to reach Harry.

 

_ 'Funny Valentine' _

 

“...That's fuckin' Ironic, ain't it?” he had scoffed as he listened to the singer croon it over his earphones. “...funny fuckin' Valentine.

 

But the tune was soothing, and the words were oddly down to earth, and the more Eggsy heard them, the more meaning he divined in them. Meaning that was probably not even there, like those poxy essays on the books he read in English.

 

And now, as he completed paperwork, loaded his arsenal, straightened his tie, parted his hair, shaved his face, he found himself singing it too.

 

*

 

 

It was late, too late to be sat in medical with Harry but the supervising medic had given up on telling Eggsy off. 

 

Eggsy was completing some paperwork and while he was outlining why the proposed plan of action had failed he was humming under his breath. It soon made its way into soft singing...

 

 

“...My funny Valentine, 

 

Sweet comic valentine, 

 

You make me smile with my heart. 

 

Your looks are laughable, unphotographable, 

 

But you're my favourite work for art...”

 

He looked over to Harry who was still there, his eyelashes on his right eye resting on his cheek, his lips in a loose pout. Still fast asleep.

 

Eggsy set down his papers, and leaned in slightly, picking up the man's hand and caressing it softly, soothingly as he sung softly into his ear.

 

“Is your figure less than Greek?

 

Is your mouth a little weak?

 

When you open it to speak--

 

Are you smart? 

 

Don't change your hair for me, 

 

Not if you care for me,

 

Stay little Valentine...stay...

 

Each day, is Valentines day...”

 

Pulled back hopefully...

 

Nothing.

 

“...See, that's where in a movie, you'd wake up and I'd be all tearful and shit...eh, Harry?” he asked, his eyes filling with tears of disappointment.

 

“...Still, it ain't that kinda movie, is it?”

 

Eggsy leaned over and stroked his lengthening, curly hair back, away from the white eyepatch that protected his now empty, healing eye socket.

 

“...fucking nuisance, Harry. I got so much shit to tell ya, and so much shit to say sorry for...and you're just laying here...all fucking useless...”

 

Eggsy made the mistake of blinking and one of the unshed tears fell onto Harry's lips. He thumbed it away and stroked it into the man's pallid, rough shaven cheek.

 

“...You went to Kentucky thinking I fucking didn't give a shit. All I wanted was to make you proud, you posh wanker. 

 

_I think the fucking world of you_...”

 

Eggsy couldn't even stop the tears now, they were coming too fast. Like a river finding a crack in the dam and racing to get through.

 

“...And all I want is for you to wake up and tell me you're proud of me, Harry. 

And I swear to God, I'd give it all up. All of it. 

The title, the job, the house, the lot. I'd even be your fucking Valet. 

Christ, I just want you back, Harry Hart!”

 

Harry made a soft groan that rumbled over his vocal chords uncomfortably, his eyelid tightening.

 

Eggsy's eyes widened and he tapped the glasses quickly to get someone to watch what he was seeing. Just so he had proof that he wasn't going insane.

 

“...Harry, come on...just a bit more mate, come on...”

 

Harry made another soft grumble that sounded like a whimper.

 

“...That's it...follow my voice...”

 

His lips parted slightly and his forehead furrowed.

 

“...Nearly there, Haz...”

 

His right eye flickered open, the brown shining clearly in the hospital lamplight as Eggsy moved to his field of vision.

 

“...Harry?”

 

Harry looked at him, his eye scanning him quickly as Eggsy heard a scatter of footsteps on the clean floor that told him Merlin was in the doorway.

 

“...V...Vv....Vvv...” he began, looking clearly into Eggsy's eye.

 

“Valentine...?” Eggsy asked, looking at him. “Valentine, yeah?”

 

Harry looked to Eggsy's green eyes with his solitary brown and blinked once.

 

“He's dead, Harry. I killed him.”

 

Harry's eyelid fluttered closed.

 

*

 

Over the following few weeks. It became clear how much damage Valentine's bullet had done.

 

Harry's speech was slurred, and at times incomprehensible, and sometimes he had trouble identifying objects, or names though he knew quite clearly what they were or what their purpose was.

 

And his right hand shook more or less constantly.

 

But Merlin was confident with therapy, and treatment, he could make an almost total recovery.

 

Eggsy, had volunteered to help as much as he was able to, mostly because he was the only one who dared answer Harry back when his temper grew frayed.

 

Whenever Eggsy came by to 'have lunch with Harry', or 'talk about work', it usually ended in Harry doing something that he was too stubborn to let anyone else help with.

 

Tonight, Eggsy had come to discuss what suit went better with Brown Oxfords.

 

It was a trick question, of course. 

 

Harry always said that Black, polished Oxfords went well with everything but Merlin wanted Harry to pick out an eye to replace the one he had lost.

 

A fully bionic, visual prostheses.

 

But every-time Merlin had mentioned it to Harry, Harry had cursed him out with a string of slurred swear words and had thrown his clipboard at him with his good hand.

 

So, Eggsy turned up with a box of shortbread, a copy of Merlin's diagrams, and a cheerful disposition as he walked into Harry's room and grinned at the man who was sat in his chair and watching something on his tablet.

 

“Whatcha watchin?”

 

Harry looked at him.

 

“...your ff...feed.” he responded. “...Vvv...Vvv...Vv...V-day.”

 

Eggsy nodded and set the biscuits down.

 

“Like what you see?” he grinned.

 

“...Imprresss...sive.” Harry replied putting the tablet down and looking at Eggsy. “...Ch...chose the...Rr...Rrr...R-rainmaker.”

 

“Of course I did.” Eggsy replied. “That things off the fucking hook.”

 

“...Vv...Vv...I'm Imprresssed.”

 

Eggsy sat down and put the documents in front of him.

 

“Pick an eye, Harry. Come on.”

 

“Nnno.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“...I'd...rr....rrather nnn-nn-not.”

 

“Well, I'd rather you did.” Eggsy countered.

 

“...why?”

 

“...cos I am gonna be a dick and make a fuck load of pirate jokes if you don't.”

 

Harry stared at him, or at least Eggsy thought he did.

 

“...Pr...Prrr...Prrrick.” Harry snarled and grabbed the papers, inspecting them. 

 

After selecting a prototype, Harry signed the document shakily with his right hand and skated it back at Eggsy.

 

“See? No need to hurt poor Merlin's feelings by calling him 'spam head' was there?”

 

Harry looked to Eggsy.

 

“...Nee....Need to sp...spp....talk to you.”

 

“Go for it.” He replied, pocketing the signed copy of the prototype.

 

“...Vv...Vv....Vv...”

 

“Valentine.” Eggsy offered, sitting in the chair opposite Harry.

 

“...Yes.” he nodded firmly.

 

“He's dead, Harry. I stabbed him through the chest.” Eggsy gently reminded.

 

“No.”

 

“Harry, you saw the feed.”

 

“...L...Listen!”

 

Eggsy blinked in surprise at Harry's sharp tone. He normally saved it all up for Merlin and never normally spoke like _that_ to him.

 

“...Kay...” he replied, sitting back and looking at Harry.

 

“...V...Vv....Valentine... _Funny_... _VV_...”

 

Eggsy felt the blood drain out of his face.

 

“... _Funny Valentine?”_

 

Harry nodded, his lips curving into a slight smile.

 

“...You...heard?” Eggsy asked, his voice quiet.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“...Shit.”

 

Harry smiled faintly.

 

“...S...Ssin...Sing it again...?”

 

“...Now? Here?” Eggsy repeated, looking around, wondering if Merlin was going to pop out of nowhere with a grin on his face and a camera phone.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Why?”

 

“...aw...aww....awwake to enj...enj...enjoy it.” Harry replied with a soft, lopsided smile. 

 

Eggsy couldn't help but return Harry's smile. It was the first time he had seen him smile in the few months.

 

“...Alright...suppose so...seeing as you've asked so nicely...”

 

He cleared his throat and began to launch into the song again but Harry shook his head.

 

“N...No.”

 

“...Harry, you asked me to sing for you.”

 

“...You...ff....fff.....forgot something...”

 

Eggsy looked at him quizzically.

 

Harry shakily extended his hand and looked to Eggsy, a trace of something sparkling in his right eye.

 

Eggsy took his hand, and smiled before singing softly to him.

 

“My Funny Valentine...Sweet Comic Valentine, You make me smile with my heart...”

 

And the way that Harry was smiling at him...the way that Harry was beaming at him brought out the showman in Eggsy as he pulled Harry's hand to his chest and sang.

 

“Your looks are laughable...unphotographable, but you're my favourite work of art...”

 

He leaned in and ran his hand hesitantly through Harry's hair, avoiding the bandage. 

 

“...Is your figure less than Greek, is your mouth a little weak...when you open it to speak are you...”

 

He found Harry's mouth on his, stifling the rest of the song as he pressed soft, underused lips on his.

 

Eggsy instinctively wrapped the man in his arms and kissed back. A kiss that felt like a hangman's noose being cut from the gallows.

 

A kiss that had been waiting for far too long as he enveloped the man he thought he had lost for good in his arms and never wanted to let go.

 

As Harry broke the kiss, pulling away shakily, he looked up into Eggsy's eyes with his remaining eye.

 

“... _Stay little Valentine._.. _stay_...” Eggsy said softly. “... _Each day is Valentine's day._..”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based on one of my favourite love songs of all time, Funny Valentine and the notion that Harry sings it frequently to Eggsy, without Eggsy realizing it's for him.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ni3DjM8wcds for the song.


End file.
